• Change is inevitable except from a vending machine.
• Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular? • If you want to look young and thin, hang around old fat people. • Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk,my first instinct is to laugh.But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me.Then it wouldn’t seem quite so funny.- Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts • Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.---- Woody Allen • Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes? --- Groucho Marx • I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades...or a game of fake heart attack. • Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to a lack of humor? • A gentleman is a man who can play the accordion but doesn't. ~Author Unknown • I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three. ~Elayne Boosler • Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you. ~Colin Sautar • To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the project manager, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. • The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into the office. - Robert Frost • The most important thing is not to stop questioning. - Albert Einstein • Do not worry if others do not understand you. Instead worry if you do not understand others. -----Confucius • You are a time millionaire - for a rich life invest wisely. (Richard Andrews • You may have DIALOG or MOBITEL connection, but when you sneeze, all you say is "HUTCH" • You can find tea in a tea cup.. but cannot find world in a world cup. • Drive carefully! Remember, it's not only a car that can be recalled by it's maker. - Anonymous • That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.