• When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,
you can be sure of one thing : either the car is new or the wife. • If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments. • I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o clock in the morning. ----John Barrymore • I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once. • Hey, the way I figure it is this: if the kids are still alive by the time my husband comes home, I've done my job. • When in doubt, tell the truth. ---Mark Twain • I told the Inland Revenue I didn't owe them a penny because I lived near the seaside • Life is Hard... That's why people invented the pillow • Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. ---Groucho Marx • We have found that it's much easier to restrain our wrath when the other fellow is bigger than we are. ---Anonymous • Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.