• Men show their character in nothing more clearly than by what they think laughable. -----Johann Wolfgang Von
• She's more nervous than a long-tailed dog in a room full of rocking chairs • As worn out as a cucumber in a convent. • I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it. -----Mae West • The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. • I'm not paranoid! Which of my enemies told you this? • Money can't buy happiness. But it sure makes misery easier to live with. • When you wish upon a shooting star, all your dreams will come true. Unless the star is really a meteor about to destroy the earth. Then, you’re pretty much dead no matter what you wish for. Unless it’s death by meteor. • A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of. ---Burt Bacharach • An old friend will help you move. A good friend will help you move a dead body. • I've seen better hands on a clock • This guy is all foam, no beer. • A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free. ---Anonymous • Snowflakes are some of nature's most fragile things, but just look what happens when they stick together. • I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown • If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it. - Anonymous • Scientists have proven that it's impossible to long-jump 30 feet, but I don't listen to that kind of talk. Thoughts like that have a way of sinking into your feet. ----Carl Lewis • I’m not insensitive, I just don’t care.