• I swear to drunk I'm not God
• dont look at me in that tone of voice. • He's so optimistic he'd buy a burial suit with two pairs of pants. ---Chuck Tanner • Perhaps the best Yuletide decoration is being wreathed in smiles. --- Unknown • I Like this quote I dislike this quote“I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.” ---- Oscar Wilde • I spent 90% of my money on women and drink. The rest I wasted - George Best • Of all days, the day on which one has not laughed is the one most surely wasted. ----Sébastien Roch Nicolas Chamfort • A smile starts on the lips, A grin spreads to the eyes, A chuckle comes from the belly; But a good laugh bursts forth from the soul, Overflows, and bubbles all around. -----Carolyn Birmingham • Nobody ever died of laughter. ---- Max Beerbohm • Laughter is a medicine with no side effects. • Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that therePut your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That’s relativity. • A bachelor is a selfish, undeserving guy who has cheated some woman out of a divorce. • He's not dead... he's electroencephalographically challenged. • I used to be Snow White, but I drifted. -----Mae West • Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them. • I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier. • The fruit of silence is prayer, the fruit of prayer is faith, the fruit of faith is love, the fruit of love is service, the fruit of service is peace.