• Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
• Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population.
• If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.
• If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns.
• A comedian does funny things. A good comedian does things funny.- Buster Keaton
• Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.- Unknown
• Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes? ----Groucho Marx
• I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades...or a game of fake heart attack.
• I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
• Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
• Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
• A scout troop consists of twelve little kids dressed like schmucks following a big schmuck dressed like a kid. ~Jack Benny
• When you ASSUME you make an A-S-S out of U and Me.
• A little Madness in the Spring Is wholesome even for the King. - Emily Dickinson
• Computer programmers don't byte They nibble a bit.
• People like you are the reason people like me need medication.
• Failure is the mother of success.
• May those who love us love us,
and those who do not love us,
may God turn their hearts,
and if He cannot turn their hearts
may He turn their ankles
that we may know them by their limping.
