• Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I killed because they were annoying.
• Work is the curse of the drinking classes. • Men kick friendship around like a football, but it doesn't seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces. • Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.- Kin Hubbard Drawing on my fine command of the language, I said nothing. • I don't care what is written about me as long as it isn't true. ----Katherine Hepburn • I never criticise referees and i'm not going to change a habit for that prat. - Ron Atkinson • I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for ouranniversary?" She said,"Somewhere I have never been!" I told her,"How about the kitchen?"—Anonymous • If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the mirror, because I bet that's what REALLY throws you into a panic. • Here's to you and here's to me, and I hope we never disagree. But, if that should ever be, to HELL with you, here's to ME! • If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it. – Anonymous • Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them, and you have their shoes.------ Frieda Norris • I don’t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it. • A glow worm is never glum… Because, how can you be grumpy when the sun shines out of your bum? • Cricket is basically baseball on valium. ---- Robin Williams • My mind is like a steel trap - rusty and illegal in 37 states. • Laugh often, Dream big, Reach for the stars! • A conclusion is simply the place where someone got tired of thinking. The remarkable thing about Shakespeare is that he really is very good, in spite of all the people who say he is very good.
