Chuck Norris made Ellen Degeneres straight.
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Chuck Norris kicked Neo out of Zion , now Neo is "The Two"
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Chuck Norris' iPod came with a real charger instead of just a USB cord
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Chuck Norris knows where Carmen Sandiego is.
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Rudolph has a red nose because he got lippy and Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him across the face several times
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China was once bordering the United States, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked it all the way through the Earth.
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Chuck Norris is what Willis was talking about
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If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
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Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn't Jesus’ birthday. Jesus was to scared to correct Chuck Norris and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus' birthday.
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When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.
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Chuck Norris once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire.
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Chuck Norris once kicked a baby elephant into puberty
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Multiple people have died from Chuck Norris giving them the finger.
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Chuck Norris once tried to wear glasses. The result was him seeing around the world to the point where he was looking at the back of his own head.
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Pee Wee Herman got arrested for masturbating in public. The same day, Chuck Norris got an award for masturbating in public.
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